Episode 1: Fabric Incontinence

Project Runway sure knows how to keep things fresh- this season the designers had to do their first challenge with the surprise material of fabric. $50,000 worth of fabric. I went to a Hunger Banquet directly before this episode, and let me tell you, fifty grand sure could feed a lot of starving children. But instead, it was spent on a fuckton of fabric, and I'm willing bet that a grand 7% of all that fabric was actually used. Not to be mean, but I'd rather see them using tent material- which Christian initially thought was the challenge, and whined about. He needs to get over that, fast, or he's going to jinx it and they'll all be making clothes out of their own hair in a few weeks.
Seriously, fabric? I'd rather see tent material because then they're all working in the same context, so making it represent them has to come through in construction and skill. The first episode is wildly unfocused enough with so many designers, I thirst for some kind of theme.
Also, why no road-to-the-runway, auditioning type show?

Carrying on.


Bravo is obviously trying to capitalize on the popularity of Tim Gunn. He has his own show, he's in the theme song now, and he got his own category in the "your favorite thing about PR" poll- and won, of course. I don't know if I like it. I'm on a Tim Gunn Objectification Watch.

Speaking of watches, I'm also on a Carmen's Hair Watch. Will it become less majestic as the season progresses and the stress builds? Let's hope, because if not, she's got her priorities out of order for this competition.

Also in the theme song:


Did you hear? Marion is awkward! I think this is apparent enough without this embarrassing image displayed before every episode. Why is a shapely female shadow kissing Marion? Everyone else gets to strut or wiggle (watch for Simone next time) or at least talk about what great designers they are, and Marion gets make an aw-shucks face weekly. Bold prediction: Marion is not going to win Project Runway.


Jillian matches the sheets. Perfectly. SHE MATCHES THE SHEETS. I thought Marion was going to creep me out, but so far I just feel bad for the little guy. Jillian, however, is creeping me out, with italics and everything. This no-nonsense competitive thing she had going in her little quiet voice it is so secret-murderer-y.
Also: she matches the sheets!
However, her design was still totally boring, as I predicted. It reminded me of a Barbie outfit. Not a high-fashion-season-2 Barbie outfit, a this-came-with-the-beach-house Barbie outfit. Blah.

A few other people seemed to fit my predictions pretty well- Sweet P is definitely high on my favorites list, while Christian is near the very bottom. The judges loved Rami (and with good reason). Elisa made an art project. Ricky, bless his little stereotypical gay Latino heart, was choking back tears, before anything even happened! What a sweety. I liked his dress (though I knew it was doomed to be called "safe"), and his attitude, I hope he sticks around for a while.
A few, though, won my heart unexpectedly- namely, Chris and Steven.

I think Chris is going to last a while. He may be told to edit at some point, but he has plenty of experience with bizarre challenges. I loved his dress, I would have put it in the top three. The colors were a little furniture-esque, but the purple material was gorgeous and the construction was great. And his salad ingredients dress?


Fierce!
And it looks like Richard Simmons really really liked it.

As for Steven, he's just, well, adorable. His sense of humor is so genuine and endearing. How could you not love this face?


As for his design, I think it definitely represents him- as long as not every thing he puts out has a suit jacket on it, I'll root for him. I hope he and his model stick together, the aesthetic suits her well. I also hope that I can get a picture of his closed-mouth smile at some point- it's so bizarrely cute, as if he's delighting in sucking on a lemon.

I guess I should mention Elisa's craziness, since it was the main focus of the episode. I like Elisa, and her craziness. I kind of want to be her friend. However, I also know that as innovative as it is, Michael and Nina are not going to dig grass stains. As for her dress- I was taking some notes during the show and definitely wrote "oh no! pooping fabric" as soon as I caught a glimpse at the back. I thought it was cool, in theory, though it looked more like a peacock than a "cascading river" to me. But I dug the peacock. Unfortunately, the thing didn't function at all. I'm really glad she's still in, though. Based entirely on what walked down the runway, I'm really only interested in seeing what she and Rami (and maybe Jack and Chris) create next.
I'm also glad she's still in because Simone's dress earned the aufing. Sorry, Simone.


Now, let me talk about the top three- Rami's dress obviously deserved to be there, and to win. The selection of Victorya and Christian, however, was a surprise to me. I guess I just don't "get" Victorya's piece. It looks better in the website photo, but while watching the show I thought it was, well, not pretty. And Christian's outfit was, well, ugly. Well-made, for sure, but the colors were gross and it was not flattering.

I know they're probably editing Christian into the villain, but I can see myself not being able to stand him fairly soon. His disdain towards Rami's outfit irked me- it was unfounded and immature. I'm also trying to figure out who or what he reminds me of, in the home video when he says he's "kind of fierce, and kind of a celebrity", it strikes me as so familiar- I thought maybe it was Bobcat Goldthwait's character in Scrooged, but that's not it; and nor is it exactly Kelly. It may just be the way he adds an invisible question mark to his sentences that contains familiarity. If you have any ideas as to what character he's emulating here, let me know.

I could break down what I thought of every single design- Carmen's impeccably executed genie from the future look, Marion's- um- thing, and so on. But there's so many in episode one. Frankly, it's exhausting. I hope you enjoyed what I had the energy to muster up this week. Stop by next week- there may be commentary, or I may just be in a coma.