Friday, November 02, 2007

First Impressions, or Lack Thereof

I have so much to do this semester that I am embarrassed to mention it all. Just know that right now, whenever I have time to do something unimportant, say, enjoy a magazine, play video games, or blog about reality television, it is because I am putting off something important. Blogging about Project Runway is pretty low on the "relevant to my future" list. So you best appreciate the fruits of my procrastination.

I know it's just days away, but I'm itching for the new season and all the joy and sorrow of fabulousness and inconsistent judging it will bring to me. So, after putting off more important things to watch the video interviews and read the Q&As, I thought I would gather a little list of my first impressions. I did the same thing for Season 2, though after the first episode, but who knows where my stamina will be at that point?

What we know: She's an "established designer"
What I want to know: What kind of French phrases did the monkeys on her t-shirts from age thirteen actually say? "Je voudrais un banane"? Or maybe, "Pourquoi est-ce que je parle fran├žais"? Monkeys shouldn't be in France. They're not native.
What I expect: A whole lot of "impeccable execution".

What we know: She got on season one, but turned it down. That strikes me as a good sign.
What I expect: Considering she was raised by two artists, and she tells of being "discovered" or something because of a Halloween costume involving a golden spool of thread over the heart and treated eucalyptus leaves, I predict she is going to get "costumey" from the judges more than once, even if it's not justified.

What We Know: He sells clothes out of his flower shops, his style is "Oliver, with a twist!"
Reminds Me Of: Oliver Twist indeed, if Oliver Twist was a fucking pyro.
What I Expect: Michael Kors will call his clothes "something you see on the Sci-Fi channel", Marion will take this as a compliment.

What We Know: His favorite color is leopard.
Reminds Me Of: A gay Fred Flintstone. Just think about that shirt without sleeves. Separated at birth, right?
What I Expect: Gee- he's worked with Madonna, Cirque Du Soleil and Disney, and once again his favorite color is LEOPARD. But, he does have a lot of experience, so he might do alright, depending on the challenge.

What we know: She gets snappy at someone at some point.
Reminds me of: A younger Wendy, on sedatives.
What I Expect: She seems pretty together, so I think she may go far, but totally bore me in the process. I hope her clothes are more exciting than she is. I'm not buying that she's going to be a big drama queen as the promos may lead us to believe.

What we know: He is both "raw talent" and "kind of a big deal".
Reminds me of: Love child of Daniel Franco and Santino.
What I Expect: A big ego, and not much else. Prove me wrong, Christian.

What we know: His aesthetic is both "girly" and "fabulous".
Reminds me of: Love child of Robert and Kayne.
What: Holds a national record in swimming, and lists Christian Siriano- the one directly above- one of his competitors- as a favorite designer. He's his fourth choice when they asked for three. All around: What.

Kit (Christina)
What we know: Her aesthetic is "coquettish"
What I expect: The judges won't "get it". Supposedly inspired by Florence, she will likely be called out on appearing to be inspired by the 80s. I can't think of a third category because so far Kit has left almost no impression at all with me. That's a bad sign.

What we know: He's the token straight guy.
Reminds me of: Clive Owen, if Clive Owen was an Italian fashion designer, with tattoos and a beard and everything. Kevin is pretty, is what I'm saying.
What I expect: Will develop a strong fan following. Bravo will continually air footage of him brushing his teeth in boxers. But really, he seems authentic. I hope he delivers.

What we know: Also turned down a spot on PR in an earlier season. Good sign.
What I expect: The judges will probably like him. Also, if he makes it to the final three/four, we'll hear all about his childhood in West Bank.
What: When asked what would shock people, he answered "Nothing I can think of!!!". Three exclamation points. What.

What we know: He's the token crier in the promos.
Reminds me of: Love child of Raymundo and Andre. Extravagant gestures, boyish looks, big heart, and of course, he sheds some tears.
What I expect: He may turn out to be my favorite, at least for a little while. He's shown in promos trying to talk people out of fighting. I'm a sucker for a peace keeper. You just know they don't belong on reality TV.

What We Know: She's honing her psychic abilities.
Reminds me of: The kind of person that overdresses and looks forlorn and says they belong in another decade, but really, there was no decade in which people did nothing but drink wine and stand in the corner at art shows and talk about how cultured they are.
What: You'd think the psychic thing would do it, but what really gets me is she considers "heirloom piece of jewelry" to be a must-have fashion item. What.

What we know: She appears to think fighting is a necessity, but this could always be out of context editing.
What I want to know: What exactly is a bag that makes a statement? That seems fairly subjective. And what kind of statement would you try to make? To me it sounds an awful lot like a "say-something hat", and "say-something hats" usually say "tacky".

What we know: He worked for drag queens at some point, but hated it.
Reminds me of: Andre's other-dimensional twin: looks similar, but is as soft-spoken and conservative as Andre is loud and outrageous.
What I expect: Considering his must-have fashion items (which includes an ascot tie and a briefcase) are aimed at men and are, well, boring, he at some point may be aufed for "not understanding women" or being, well, boring.

Sweet P (Kathleen)
What we know: She was encouraged to try out by Jeffrey, who was in turn encouraged to try out by Santino, so, I guess that's interesting?
What I want to know: Why Bravo showed this picture of her tattoos, when a ton of the contestants this season have visible tattoos?
What I expect: She'll be my favorite. Authentic and edgy, and without Santino's ego or Jeffrey's penchant to call people feminazis. Also, she was in an all-female biker gang, which has inexplicable appeal to me.

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