Sunday, March 16, 2008

Fuck You, Guinness.

I haven't finished the candidate series. I haven't posted about the Project Runway finale. I'll probably do the former but not the latter. Let me just give you the words running through my head about Christian's collection: isosceles, fungal growth, top-heavy, dirty (dirty-dirty not sexy-dirty), and why-the-fuck-will-puffed-
people. The thought "he needs the money" almost soothed me except I remembered he's twenty-one, he's not SUPPOSED to have a nice apartment, especially in New York.

For now, though, I've got ventin' to do.
Fuck. You. Guinness.

Guinness is sponsoring the oh-so-cleverly titled Proposition 3-17, which would affectively turn a religious and cultural holiday into a nationally recognized day for Guinness to make a few extra bucks. Don't even try to tell me that Guinness is doing this for Irish pride- the write up of 3-17 includes some bullshitting about "allow[ing] people to express their Irishness" but ends, predictably, with the suggestion of enjoying "a pint of Guinness stout or two". I know appropriation happens all the time, but alcohol companies are particularly fond of perverting holidays founded by people who stereotypically drink into excuses for drinking, and nothing, nothing else. I'm sure Corona will be all over a petition to officially recognize Cinco De Mayo soon enough.
The text of Proposition 3-17 states that on St. Patrick's Day, "everyone reveals a little bit of their Irish side". Translation: On St. Patrick's day, everyone reveals a bit of their drunken side. There is absolutely no indication on their site of how we're supposed to commemorate St. Patty's Day except through drinking, and the occasional plastic shamrock, the meaning of which is surely a mystery to them. This is not about pride. This is about pushing beer.
Irking me further, Guinness posted people stating "why they signed the petition" on their website:

I think this is the only Saint's day that has ever been described this way. You know, St. Joseph's day, celebrated by and associated with Italians, is two days after St. Patrick's, and I never see anyone on the streets celebrating that one. Nobody drinks themselves stupid or throws big parties on Easter, either, and that seems like it should be a happy occasion. I wonder why?

Again, I'm reading this as being Irish as directly related to one's intake of alcohol, unless she cooks corned beef and cabbage and listens to Celtic music in inordinate amounts every March the seventeenth. Considering the video going along with this quote was filmed in a bar, I doubt it.

Saint Patrick's Day came up in one of my classes a few days ago, and half the people there didn't know who Saint Patrick was, or even if he was a real guy. But on March 17th, I wager, they'll have a headband adorned with glittering shamrocks on springs resting upon their heads and a cool, refreshing Guinness in hand. I'm not saying that we understand the other holidays we do officially recognize (we don't, none of them), I'm just saying, why continue the fucked-up trend? Especially when we understand this holiday through a stereotype.

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