Presedential Pick-Me-Up: Part 1

Happy Leap Day! Or is it Leap Year Day? Whatever.

In case you live in a cave or forest, and your hobby of choice is poking yourself in the eyes and ears with rocks, you know (as the existence of February 29th indicates) it's an election year. And if you know me, you know I am a Kucinich person, in a big way. Please see my livejournal icon to your right. I'm devoted, y'all.

So, I was understandably disheartened by- well- I was going to say "Dennis dropping out", but also Dennis being excluded before he dropped out, the array of Dennis-bashing before he dropped out, and so on. I am frankly disenchanted with both Hillary and Barack, and while I always considered McCain the least evil of the republicans, I realize more and more how fucking crazy he is and (considering the past few elections) how much more electable that makes him. I've said it during election years before, and I'll said it again: we're doomed!

So it's nice, during these dark times, to remember that while whoever is going to end up in the White House isn't going to be exactly ideal, at least there are some people who are totally never going to end up in the White House. People who, say, want to reinstate stoning for gays and loose women, or think their cosmic destiny as president of the universe is written in the stars- the same stars that they wish to bomb as president. Vote-smart dot org has a list of just such people, and it's called the "Other" party list of presidential candidates. Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking all third-party candidates, and I did pull a few bizarre candidates from the Republican and Democrat lists, too, but that Other list lets you get straight to the crazy. That's because on the Other list, people make up their own parties. I don't want to spoil any of the surprises, so I present for you, the first installment of a list of people whose asses Dennis Kucinich could- and, really, has thoroughly kicked in a presidential election:

Da Vid
The Light Party
You are going to notice a theme of the religion category being a source of confusion with these candidates, as apparently strange people running for president are really into strange religions, or using way too many words to explain their religion. Vid- or should I call him Da? I'm really postulating that his name is David and he either thought his last name wasn't interesting enough or he was too paranoid to post it on Vote-Smart. Anyway, Vid lists his religion as Rosicrucian, Hermetic Qabalist. I looked these words up on Wikipedia, and as far as I can tell it's New Age for history majors. They're very into stars and mysticism and really dense concepts that I'm sure all have some ancient basis that I don't understand. Also, this thing:


And here we're think a Mormon would be hard to market.
Anyway, now that I've ripped on the poor guy's religion, let me say honestly, his organizations list is kind of astounding. Vid has been part no less than 36 nice-sounding groups, including Green Peace and Doctors Without Borders. I'm really interested in the Worldwide Forgiveness Alliance. What kind of work exactly would that entail? Forgiving people, or pressuring people to forgive other people? Forgiveness conventions?
His three presidential priorities are what really seals the deal on never becoming president for him. The first is disarming all nukes, which is admirable enough. The second is "Project Health", which appears to be universal health care with some "eco-agriculture" thrown in, nothing really extreme there. His third priority, however, is "Project Light, the catchy tag line being "All The Power That Ever Was Or Will Be Is Here Now." Got a ring to it, eh? Project Light basically aims for "a sustainable global solar hydrogen/hemp based economy". How will we acheive this? Why, "The Gaia/Solaris Consortium", of course. If this vote-smart survey was graded, the professor would write a big red please explain your answer next to this one.

Gene Amondson
Prohibition Party
Seriously, guy? You're running on prohibition? You do know how that went over the last time, right? He's not totally out of touch with the youth, though: he has a myspace. And two whole friends. Maybe he'd attract more if he had any information on the page besides his name, age, marital status and astrological sign. Why those last two specifically? Possibly... for the ladies?

Terry Lee "Tee" Barkdull
The America Party
As a blogger, I have to say about this guy: JACKPOT. The first two were easy to find, but I took a chance on this guy, as he was only listed as "Unknown". However, if you follow the trail to his website, you will see quite clearly that Tee here belongs to THE AMERICA PARTY. You will also see clearly that he loves FREEDOM, CAPSLOCK, FORMATTING and "PICTURES OF EAGLES". Can you guess what the mascot of the America Party is? Hint: It's a motherfucking eagle!
I seriously don't know where to begin with this guy- I suppose the easiest jab is at the layout- eagles, soldiers and America flags fuckin' abound. He's also a big fan of weird, unnecessary formating choices and "QUOTATIONS", even in places where they make his "argument" seem "meaningless". For example, instead of promising what he'd do as your President, he tells you what he'll do AS YOUR "PRESIDENT". Don't be fooled by the seeming lack of intelligence he displays with constant misused commas ("We, can win together!"), his complete misunderstanding of how things like disability benefits, immigration and racism (holy shit is this guy swamped in privilege- did you know the very existence of BET is racist?) work, and his typos ("I am sick of Politically Correction") that result in saying something completely different ("No free bees for immigrants!"- I'm with him on this, I mean, we are short on bees). He considers himself to be a very "INTELLIGENT" individual.
Tee is very big on speaking English. Did you know over 2/3 of the world's native language is English? Tee does. He also thinks being given the option of pressing 1 for English or 2 for Spanish is discrimination. That's right- the fact that you are even offering a language besides English is impeding Tee's rights.
He wants sex, along with race, age, and eye color to be eliminated from job applications (goodness knows how sick I am of writing out my eye color every time I apply for a job). However, the Boy Scouts are for boys, the Girl Scouts are for girls- "The way it should be!". Also, he apparently feels that "homosexuality is WRONG! It's not a phobia, it's my OPINION!!! I have the right to 'NOT' to be tolerant of others because they are different, wired or they just PISS ME OFF!!" Sure, you have the right to be intolerant- unless, whoops, you're the fucking president. I'm pretty sure he meant weird instead of wired, but it wouldn't be a big stretch to see this guy going on a tirade against cyborgs.
Man, I could go on for days about this guy. He surely spent at least a few days on his website- besides the insane amount of formatting variations, he has at least a dozen rants that just go on and fucking on. The sheer volume of his angry babblings would be commendable, if only they weren't so ignorant, repetitious and completely lacking in self-awareness. The motto that sits atop his front page, "WE THE PEOPLE. THAT MEANS ALL AMERICANS", seems to be looking down at the rest of his ranting in scorn.
Let me just end with one more quote:
"TO MANY PEOPLE DIE ON OUR NATIONS HIGHWAYS AND FREEWAYS BECAUSE OF THE AGGRESSIVE DRIVER THAT THINK THEY OWN THE ROADS, AND THE LAW DOESN'T APPLY TO THEM.
AS A NATION, THIS MUST STOP NOW. I WANT THIS CHANGE ALSO, IT'S TOO BAD, CONGRESS IS TOO PRE-OCCUPIED WITH THESE 'DEADLY SAMURAI SWORDS'"
He makes no other reference to samurai swords anywhere on the page. Tee: What "THE FUCK" are you talking about?


If people like Tee- or heck, if people like Da Vid- get you riled up, just take a deep breath now, and remember that the chance of them fulfilling their dream of becoming President is about the same as the chance of Tee knowing what "sesquipedalian" means.
Hopefully this has restored your faith in our mainstream presidential candidates as much as it did mine. I'll have two more installments, on Sunday and Tuesday- and who knows, if more people announce their candidacy, this could go on until November.

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Duh.

The entertainment industry has double standards for men and women. Duh.
Everybody knows that, and if you don't, please start bringing it up in conversation as often as possible, so all the sane people around you can inform you otherwise face-to-face. The process would be simply exhausting over the internet. If everyone around you agrees with you, quietly and cautiously leave the area as soon as possible: you may, unknowingly, be part of a cult.
That's out of the way.

So, I watched the Oscars tonight, and- another duh- Juno won for Best Original Screenplay. I'm not sure how the internet is going to take this, because it seems as much as there's a critical orgy going on over the film, there's a good amount of venom being spewed at Diablo Cody. I wasn't sure how I felt about it all, since I've only heard second hand (or third hand, or perhaps even fourth hand- blogger gets opinion of Cody from blogger who got opinion of Cody through article about Cody somewhere) accounts of her personality. The consensus seems to be that she's full of herself, or she's trying too hard, or she does not deserve all the attention she's getting. So I watched her Oscar acceptance speech with this in mind, and I call bullshit on the Cody-hate. She was perfectly humbled by the experience, and spoke of herself as a writer in terms of a process, not an achievement. And, shock of all shocks, not one cute quotable included!

Also, I thought this was kind of rad, and indicative of substance. I think those that call Cody a phony/without substance don't understand what I talked about in my post on Juno and anti-folk: the ability to simultaneously be silly and sincere. The most interesting sentence: "He blames the stripper-turned-screenwriter's behind-the-scenes team for not fully communicating the value of the shoes to Cody."
One, why do they have to mention she was a stripper? Is there a subtle implication there that she's stupid or low-class? Maybe it was just an interesting tidbit they wanted to throw in. But why? It's irrelevant, isn't it? So that's a little suspicious. The amusing part, of course, is that the maker of the shoes assumes the Cody would be happy to wear them if only she knew they cost two million fucking dollars. It doesn't occur to some people that maybe some other people do not desire diamond-studded shoes that cost two million fucking dollars, and when you go ahead and assume they will peddle your hunk of rocks (obtained from an oppressive industry, the cost of which could feed a small nation) and tell media outlets they're doing so without their permission- duh!- they will not be happy with you.
So, maybe the "former stripper" label Cody is stuck with is indicative of a lower-class mindset, and maybe that's a good thing: maybe that means she has the ability to see through bullshit. Kimya Dawson, who I do not feel foolish describing as My Hero, has retained this ability during her rise to fame: you can read about her bewilderment with celebrity giftbags here, and her fuck-you to Walmart here.

Bitch Magazine's blog did a piece on Cody and the weird backlash against her, and the sexist motivation behind some of it, and (duh) the double standard women face in the industry. I remember reading an article in Bitch a while back, too, that was really enlightening at the time, about how much flak a woman would get if she acted as self-important as, oh, say, Sean Combs. I can't articulate the point quite as well as they did, but I think the problematic thing is while women are allowed to be successful more so now than ever, they are seen as bitchy attention whores if they celebrate their success.

Oh man, the Oscars are so long. I'm so fucking tired. But determined!
Here's another article about double-standards. Every news item about Britney Spears makes me feel sick. I gotta say, I'm with Chris Crocker. Can we leave her the fuck alone already? Also, have we stopped playing that clip of Chris Crocker yet? I haven't been paying much attention lately, but damn, that shit has been pervasive.
I was sick of the Britney bashing back when she shaved her head. Are we still at the point where a chick can't shave her head without it being a symptom?

Oh, my links are getting crazy. Time for bed.

P.S. Why does my text get squished after a quote? Help me, Professor Internets.

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Surprisingly didn't think to post this for Valentine's

I joined a writer's group on my campus, and our very first prompt (oh, how I do prefer writing groups that give prompts instead of writing groups where I sit there reading something I wrote six months ago and listen to people tell me they liked it) was to write a love letter to make the recipient swoon. You may remember that I've been swooning (for over three years now) over a wonderful boy, but I thought it would be awfully cheesey to write to him, and I didn't want to be too personal for the first prompt of our first meeting. He's off to Argentina until July very soon, and I might tear up if I tried to put words to how that feels. So I wrote it to my other main man, and thought you would enjoy the results.

My beautiful and dear Dennis Kucinich,
You have never met me, and I have never met you, yet I feel our connection. It is as if you are the wind, all around me, gently pushing my turbine to create a raw, hot, renewable energy source. I know you are a married man, but I can’t help myself. You get my blood pumping, like a life-saving transfusion made available to me by universal health care. Forget your wife- but value her equality and preserve her reproduction rights- spend just one night with me, let me take you to places you’ve never been- like vegan restaurants. You know as well as I that they’re hard to come by, but oh, so enticing- and so worth the danger.
You broke my heart when you dropped out of the race, Dennis, but I forgive you. Come away with me, let us escape this humdrum two-party system and do something really radical. We could protest for troop withdrawal... or if you’re feeling really naughty, impeachment. After we get a Department of Peace established, you and I can work on a special project- the Department of Love. Let me be your vegetable-eating vixen, your granola-crunching girl, your sexy leftist. Is that a copy of The Constitution in your pocket, or is this love?
My heart (and vote) will always be yours,
Raechel

Also in Dennis-related news: I had the brilliant thought today to seek out Dennis 08' merchandise, because, duh, the prices must be cute way back! Sure enough, everything at his official store is 50% off! As much as I hate to encourage unchecked consumerism, I'll say again what I said on V-Day- GET SHOPPING!

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Dying of Fierceness

Seriously?

This won the last challenge?


Again with the triangle thing. Here's hoping the judges realize the errors of their ways when, at fashion week, one of Christian's models fall over from a combination of top-heaviness and no circulation in their legs.

Disclosure: I DON'T GET PUFFY SLEEVES. Not at all. Not one bit. Not just when Christian does it, either- I never understand puffy sleeves. Even the tiny poof of the sleeve on Victorya and Kevin's dress in the Bitten challenge was enough to prevent me from buying it. How am I supposed to wear a jacket over that without feeling awkward? Won't the layers of material make me look like (as grieved as I am to quote Michael Kors as we usually disagree on everything) a Power Bitch? What normal person gets away with puffy sleeves off of a runway? Are giant, swollen arms suddenly attractive?
Enough about the sleeves. Sorry. They drive me crazy.

I'm glad Jillian's in, because, you know, I guess she's my favorite now, dammit. I never saw this coming. The twist I thought was- worthwhile, but not particularly suspenseful. It's really irrelevant to me if Rami or Chris are in, because Jillian is the one I want to win and Christian is the one I think is going to win. I am madly sick of Christian. I don't feel bad talking smack about him at this point because his self-confidence should really be donated to science for further study; if it can be harnessed it may be the solution to the energy crisis.
My number one peeve (though they're hard to rank, really):
HE TOTALLY KILLED THE WORD "FIERCE".


When you look at a word that much, it's just an amalgamation of letters, now isn't it? When I hear it now, alas, due to Christian's intense over-use, it is only a noise. What is Tyra gonna tell her girls to be now?

Anyway. On to the one I care about.
Sweet P. If I made a farewell video for that darling, I think I'd use Joni's "Big Yellow Taxi". See, I watched the whole season with the possibility that she could be aufed in the back of my mind- I didn't want to get too attached- so I never fully appreciated what a gentle, lovely little person she is, and how much I am really, really going to miss watching her.
Also, I loved her peacock dress.


I want one. I don't think I've ever wanted a dress on PR this much. What can I say? I'm a sucker for bright colors and big pockets.

I know someone had to go (they couldn't pull that "everyone wins!" gimmick two years in a row), but how unfortunate. Her style was so... the opposite of Christian's. Which I love! And how shitty that she was the only one who was officially out. Way to say "we have faith in everyone but you". Meanies.

I don't know that I'll have much to say next week, I'll probably keep my girlish squealing about Steven, Elisa, Kit, Kevin, Ricky and of course Sweet P's last appearances to myself. I have some other less TV-y posts planned, however. Though I could post about Lost, since it's back on- and of course, so fucking intriguing. But I wouldn't have much to say beyond "Fuck, eh?". And perhaps to mention that Daniel Faraday is my favorite TV character in- well- memory.

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Happy Day Before Discount Candy Day!

Otherwise known as V-Day, of course.
I have one story of love and passion for you, and one story of loss and heartache.

Love and passion:
Sex toys are legal in Texas! If you didn't know that selling sex toys was a felony in Texas, here's a hilarious run-down for you on the former law:

So a VERY happy V-Day to all of you Texans. Get shopping!

Loss and heartache:
A young transwoman of color from the Bronx is brutally murdered by a friend, and the media coverage is devastatingly ignorant. They claim she is a prostitute without any proof, call her a "man dressed as a woman", quote a seventeen-year-old neighbor describing her masculine attributes, and refer to her legal name as a "feminine nickname"- and all of this is AFTER glaad got them to re-write it. This sort of thing really blows my mind. Please go read the coverage at Feministe, all of it.

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The Tackiest Thing I May Have Ever Done Out of Fandom

I should have seen it coming, what with no immunity for the winner last challenge. I almost think it was planned that way- because Ricky's wrestling outfit, while not a traditional one, pleased his customer and was clearly not the worst on that runway. Of course, Rami has Golden Boy Syndrome and can't be voted out- mrah.

So in lieu of a big long entry, I prepared a little farewell for my boy Ricky. There's so much Ricky hate going around; I wanted to bring in some big-type love. While this is kind of a hate song, I thought it was, you know, appropriate, and expressed the heartache I feel.



I love a man who's not afraid to cry.
Though- as I'm sure many bloggers have already pointed out- no tears in his exit interview. He's clearly grown (or at least gotten more sleep). That's my boy.
Sorry for the jumpy or choppy bits of this video- apparently one of the features of Windows Movie Maker is shutting down every twenty seconds. Not exaggerating.
Edit: tweaked the video a bit, should be at least a little smoother now. Also, I forgot to mention that the cover of Cry Me A River is done by The Cliks.

So, who am I rooting for now? Well, Sweet P is still my underdog. However- and this surprising, since I've been so hard on her for so long- I think I want to see Jillian take the whole thing. Her wrestling outfit really charmed me.

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I've Heard of Them but I Haven't Heard Them, aka an indie music post.

I'm not going to write a long review of Juno, for a lot of reasons. Someone spoiled some key scenes for me, which really took a lot out of my first viewing (I've seen it twice, and will probably see it at least once more, thank you student discount). Please, if you see a good movie, don't try to tell other people what parts made it such a good movie. You are ruining a good movie. This shit should be right after "turn off your cellphones" and "visit our concession stand". "The exits are in the front to the left, and also, don't describe the best scenes to people who would rather watch them."

I'm also not writing a long review because it's been reviewed to death, with either crazy high praise or great irritation. I think most of the irritation comes from the unbelievable sharp-tonguedness and cheesey slang packed into the first thirty minutes, which was not my favorite part of the film by far, but I accept as important to the overall arch. I've come to learn that the more witty things a character has to say in the beginning, the more meaningful does their silence become. Juno's speechlessness would not be important if she wasn't such a vocal smartass.

I'm also not writing a long review because watching it get this famous- and of course, watching the soundtrack get this famous- has been a completely bizarre experience for me, and I think that's more interesting than anything I could say about anything that happened on the screen.

I've been a fan of Kimya Dawson for three years. That's an understatement: I've been totally stupid for Kimya for three years, one month and twenty three days(ish). Now she's on The View, and in Entertainment Weekly, and it's a little freaky. I knew if Juno got wide release then KD would get some more recognition, but it's a phenomenon. It's up for an Oscar (Jennifer Garner, however, totally snubbed for best supporting actress). Kimya Dawson is number one on the charts. I've read some articles questioning just what the heck is so appealing about her. I think a lot of people don't understand the possibility of being silly and sincere at the same time- "I Will Never Forget" starts with the line I sat in the swamp with the little pink piggy who loved roller skating and playing pretend, but the song is about death, suicide and bullying. Listen to it sometime, it is one of those songs that invariably makes me cry.

This got me upset- I read someone somewhere criticizing the lines if you want to kill yourself, remember that I love you, call me up before you're dead, we can make some plans instead, send me an IM I'll be your friend, and the writer said that this is mocking of suicide or something, that this is a display that Kimya doesn't really understand the youths as much as she pretends she does. (This is also a common criticism of Juno, and a stupid one, because- duh- just because you're a middle-aged journalist or critic that knows some teens does not mean you understand all teens or the experience of teendom, and young Kimya/Juno fans would likely beg to differ.) It's really upsetting because Kimya Dawson's music changed my life, and changed a lot of lives, and probably saved a lot of lives, too. That song, Loose Lips, was the first song I ever heard from her, and call me sentimental or tell me I'm "mocking depression" or whatever, but those words made me feel like I wasn't alone. They're not empty promises, either- she really will talk to you, hug you, play a show at your house- being a Kimya fan is being a friend of Kimya, which is why her sudden fame is, to me, so bizarre. She's got millions of friends now, but they don't know that, and the media doesn't really understand that.

Anyway, that needed to get off my chest, but this was really intended to be me suggesting music to the masses, since the nation seems so strangely in tune to my sensibilities at the moment. Sort of. While it's totally outside my scope that people don't like Kimya's lyrics, I can understand not liking the lo-fi folk-punk aesthetic. (I can also understand being in love with it, because I am.) Since KD is so darned famous, my suggestions are in "You like Kimya Dawson, but you don't get..." format. Or maybe it should be "You don't really get Kimya, but you do like..." Oh well, here goes.

If you like Kimya Dawson's folky-punky sound and rapid-fire lyrics but wish the sound was a little more polished and the lyrics a little less cryptic, you might like:

Jeffrey Lewis.
Check out the "I spooned Kiyma Dawson" hat around 57 seconds in. Jeff and Kimya have collaborated, which produced one of my favorite songs ever, "A Common Chorus". He's really brilliant, and not in an overused brilliant-is-the-new-awesome kind of way.

If you like Kimya Dawson's absurdness and the lo-fi vibe, but wish it was less cutesy and folksy (or, if you like The Moldy Peaches but not Kimya Dawson) you might like:

Adam Green.
He was the other major component of The Moldy Peaches, and now has a solo career also. I prefer Kimya by far far far, but if you're not the pink kitties and yellow doggies kind of person, Adam might be more your style.

If you like Kimya Dawson's delightful weirdness but would like the whole sound to be more elegant and professional (or, if you like Kimya Dawson but want to be able to find your CDs in mainstream stores), you might like:

Regina Spektor.
Ok, so everyone knows who Regina Spektor is by now. I think. I can't keep up with the kids these days. I hate the radio. However, I don't think people know she's classified as anti-folk, the genre of which Kimya Dawson is currently the poster child. Also, if you've only heard "Fidelty" and don't see the delightful weirdness I attribute to her, I advise you to delve into "Reading Time with Pickle".

If you like Kimya's quirky sweetness (or just like K Records) but want something a little more pop, you might like:

Mirah,
or:

The Blow.
I guess I automatically associate these two because I saw them play together. Oh well. I'm running out of steam, here. These are not the best recordings, obviously. They're surely worth looking into further.

If you like Kimya Dawson but wish she was like eleven or twelve people and sounded slightly more unhinged you might like (or, if you don't get Kimya, you seriously will not get):

Dufus.
I saw them play with Kimya once, and the experience was sort of amazing. It's like they create their own universe on stage. Of course, it was different people when I saw them. They morph a lot. I like to describe them as "orchestrated chaos".

If you like Kimya's... um... people she's played with, but uh... oh shit, I don't even know how to describe:

Daniel Johnston.
Just go rent The Devil and Daniel Johnston, for goodness' sake.

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Episode 9: Nyah nyah!

I love, love, love challenges in which all of the designers have to use the same materials. Their technical skill and their ability to innovate is much more apparent when they're all working from the same starting point. How perfect is it that my favorite won, and my least favorite got aufed? This episode was so validating for me.


I'll admit it- at first I thought Ricky's win was highly producer-influenced- that while his dress was great, it probably didn't hurt that there was pressure to justify his presence. But the more I look at the above image, the more I am certain that Ricky won this one on talent alone. It's stellar. The seams are beautiful, the fit is great, it looks like jeans (while I loved Sweet P's and wanted her to win, it did not look like a pair of jeans- which you would think would be good, but this is of course Project Illogicalway), it's polished, and very wearable. Sweet P and Ricky's pieces were the only instantly wearable ones on that runway, which was apparently important in this challenge because they secretly planned to sell the winner online, but didn't think to tell the designers that, at least on camera.


Christian's biker look, for example, was a good concept, but certainly couldn't be worn straight off the runway and would be incredibly difficult to reproduce. I admired his idea of making a pant out of a sleeve. However, I also thought it was kind of tacky and not helping to change his emo kid image, which he must change if I or anyone over the age of 19 is ever to take him seriously. Also: if he makes another puffy sleeve I am going to die of barfness. Also: what the fuck does dying of barfness entail? Also: if Lisa put her feet together, she would be a isosceles triangle.


The main thing Rami's dress had going for it was the zippers. And I know a million bloggers are going to say it, but come on: been there, Jeffrey done that.


I liked Chris' look more than the judges did, but I did not get the boob armor. It's my only remaining question about Ricky's dress, too. What is with the chest flaps? Did I miss a fad or something? They're bizarre.

I don't have anything specific to say about Jillian or Victorya's pieces, since they were the same idea taken to different extremes- Jillian did too much, Victoria didn't do enough. I'm glad Victorya went. She seemed to be sleepwalking through this episode. Maybe she was- that would explain why she confused Sweet P with Kit twice.

Victorya was also one of three people I felt were in danger this episode, based entirely on the fact that she shared some personal details about her life, as did Rami and Sweet P. It was smart of whoever made the call to include a slew of personal stories. In the candy episode, I knew right away that it was Elisa's time- she told a long and moving story about her past, and no one else got nearly that much interview time. They had milked her; she was doomed. Shame, however, on the person who made the call (probably the same call-making person, eh?) to keep stating how fabulous Ricky's outfit was and how he was doing this for himself and everything but never showing us the dress until the end. A little obvious on that one.

These call-making people also love filming the designers running:


Seriously, is this a subtle message that they need to lose weight, or just suffering for suffering's sake? Can't they stroll jovially to their materials sometime? Or skip merrily? Even a relaxed jog would be a nice break.

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GIRRRRRRL

BAM, RICKY HATERS

(more to come)

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Sporadic Project Runway Coverage!

I could not agree with Elisa's face more. Smirking disappointment all around!
Actually, I took a lot of screen caps of Elisa's face before her departure, and this one was my favorite. All of her expressions are stunning, however, and will be missed:


I call this one "How Elisa Stole Winter Solstice".


This one is of course "OH MY FUCK CANDY FUCKING CANDY!"

Of course, I want to honor Kevin and Kit too, especially considering they were the two people I considered most likely to make it to the final four- seriously, screwed my predictions right up. If Victorya and Jillian make it I will be pissed. I prefer to be awake during the finale, thank you.
That's a bit harsh, I suppose- their avant-garde look was pretty good, though the post-apocalyptic punk thing I think was a bit obvious, it was well-executed. And Jillian has been growing on me. Not as a designer, but a person.


Good thing she wore her rainbow suspenders that day, right? I love me some rainbow suspenders. I also loved how she was all, "We were in Times Square, so we thought we were costuming a musical". That was her first thought. Not clothes stores- theaters. She's adorable, if a bit pouty for my taste.

Anyway, yeah, I really had Kit and Kevin picked for the final four, and when I saw this:


I had Kevin picked to win. I'm not so sad, though- his prom dress was not ok. The taste level was just not there. Period. I was shocked to discover that people overwhelmingly voted for Ricky to be aufed over at BPR- sure it was a bit boring, but it was pretty, and made his model look pretty. Kevin's was not flattering, at all. I'm not exaggerating: there was nothing I liked about Kevin's dress that episode, which was staggering considering his consistent skill.
Unfortunately I don't have any screen caps from that episode, so my tribute to Kevin is from the candy episode, as all these screen caps are:


Alas, no more shirtless Kevin.
My only picture of Kit is also not very flattering:


I felt so bad for her. White tank tops are a bad scene- she had to do that stealthy nipple coverage the whole time.

The only underdogs I have left (I did consider K&K underdogs, though they were well-liked, they were always just under the radar. The front runners are obviously Rami and Christian, and to a lesser extent Jillian and Victorya. Chris is in a state of constant limbo) are Sweet P and Ricky, whom I love, but who have a much smaller chance of winning the whole thing than Kit or Kevin did. Sweet P did give me some hope on the prom dress challenge. I'm sorry, Victorya's dress was great, but not prom, not at all. They judging panel really should have had someone high school age on it, or at least someone who's been to a prom in the past ten years- a high school principal or a design teacher or something. Prom dresses are supposed look ludicrously fancy. They were afraid Sweet P's was too Hollywood glamor and not enough high school, but Victorya's short, funky dress was the one, to me, that looked more at home on a red carpet. Sweet P's dress for the avant-garde challenge was good, too. All the problems were on Rami's side, but I think his head is so big it's affecting his eyesight. That insult sort of makes sense, right?

Ricky is still my love, and I thought his prom dress was adorable, but he needs to step it up. Isn't that right, Elisa?


Oh Scarecrow, I will miss you most of all.



Sorry the coverage is not so comprehensive, but my semester is already crazy- I've had three days of classes and I've already written two papers. I have four readings, two papers and a presentation all before next Wednesday. I'm working ten hours at my office job, where I just got a promotion, and the RA job can be better described as a constant gnawing pain instead of broken down into hours. To top it all, I have to wake up at or before 9 every. single. morning. I'm praying my boss will eventually learn the true extent of my not-morning-personhood, most likely when she comes in to find I have passed out over my laptop, and my drool has rendered it completely unusable.

That said, I like my classes and I like my jobs, unfortunately for you five faithful readers, more than I like Project Runway. I get to talk about the portrayal of gender in Frankenstein, rip on how douchey the New Critics were, write newsletter articles about the ordination of women or Margaret Cho or breastfeeding, and watch documentaries about the portrayal of disability in art. I mean, I love pretty clothes and all those wacky designers and everything, but they don't give me the same sort of satisfaction. I'm pretty enthralled with my work right now, so expect more content with political themes than pop culture coverage. The best scenario is when pop and politics intersect, as they often do in advertising, and have before on Project Runway. I also enjoy when I get to flaunt my geekiness in my work, as I got to in my Women's Center article on female superheroes, I will for the LOST season premiere party I'm hosting for my residents, and I did on this poster advertising the RA position:



P.S. I didn't know where to squeeze this in, but it made me so mad: I think having four people in the bottom on the prom challenge was not only unnecessary, but a slap in the face for the "safe" designers: sure, one of you got a top three score, but you were not good enough to be considered for a win. My anger with the judges/producers (since they have a hand in judging, too), week after week, knows no fucking bounds. I would seriously suggest at least setting some new guidelines for judging for season 5, and following them. They don't have to be too constrictive- just things like, you know, always have a top 3 and bottom 3, and maybe, if you don't follow the rules of the challenge you shouldn't win the challenge. It's a bit ridiculous.

P.P.S. Also ridiculous: how Project Runway, before the season started, touted some of their designers (Simone and Elisa, to memory) as "green", but some of the most ridiculously wasteful challenges have been featured this season. Season 3's recycling center challenge was green- this:

Is the damn opposite of green. I guess on the color wheel that would be purple. 45 yards of fabric on one dress (while really cool looking) is damn purple.

P.P.P.S. I guess depending on the shade of green, it could be purple, but is really more likely red. Purple, however, is more fun to say. Go on, say it a few times.

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Film Advertisers Seem to Be Unable to Grasp the Concept of Original Concepts

Ever since a friend rented "The Last Kiss" which was touted on back cover to be a quirky romantic comedy and turned out to be one hundred and fifteen minutes of bleak, uh- bleakness, I've been wary to not view movies based on what they advertise themselves as.

So, I'm in a quandary with the movie Teeth. It was discussed on Feministing a while back, and a friend saw it at the Williamstown Film Festival (which she covered for the school paper, you can read here). She seemed to like it a lot, and certainly the subject is interesting, so I've been anticipating a chance to see it. However, the advertising has created some confusion as to what the tone of the film is- you see, the first poster looked like this:


It's very fluffy, and our hero strikes an almost Clueless-esque pose, but without pants, of course. The writer at Feministing took issue with this, and rightly so- there is rape and castration going on, and this poster looks like an American Pie sequel- but I was at the time at least hopeful that this indicated satiric humor. I thought some humor might not only bring people out to theaters to see a movie about, you know, a vagina with teeth, but also could be useful in discussing the sad state of sexuality in the country. Abstinence clubs and purity pledges are inherently funny to me.

This afternoon I was browsing movie trailers when I saw one for Teeth, and I was obviously excited. However, my excitement faded when I see the advertising spin switched from fluffy teen movie fare to straight-up horror. Not fluffy to dark comedy (as I had hoped), not fluffy to riveting drama- there is no mistaking, if I knew nothing about this movie, I would think it was a bizarre and even tacky (every rose has its thorns? really?) low-budget thriller instead of a feminist Sundance gem. You can watch the trailer out on the official website. Also observe the black-and-red horror motif of the website itself, which seems to clash with the blue tint of all the screen shots I've seen. There is also, less importantly, poor grammar- the tag line, Every Rose Has It's Thorn, implies Every Rose Has It Is Thorn. Tsk!
Here's the new poster:


From what friends and reviews tell me, the film is an interesting (though intense) way of confronting society's fear of sexuality, particularly female sexuality, and is generally empowering. However, these ads just seem to be exploiting this fear- the quote on the film states that is an "alarming cautionary tale for men". Herein lies the problem, or at least my problem.

Why is the film suddenly about/for men? I'm sure there's something to be learned for men here, but is it comparable to Fatal Attraction, in which the female antagonist tortures a family and eventually gets killed? I don't want to spoil the ending of Teeth (though I obviously don't know all the details yet, I do know the general arch), but the answer to the conflict here is not violence, and the woman is certainly not a threat to be eliminated. She is, you know, the heroine and everything. But you wouldn't know it from the trailer- the protagonist (or at least her vagina) is made out to be the monster and her touchy-feely gyno to be one of many hapless victims (by the way, the friend that covered it stated that in a Q&A following the film, one male viewer expressed he did see the gynecologist as an innocent victim- a statement to which anyone in the audience who had ever been to an actual OB/GYN appointment scoffed).

Revolutionary idea: pitch the film about female sexuality with a complex female protagonist to women for what it is, instead of a sexy teen comedy or a tacky rehashing of an old horror story.

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Worth Blogging

Lakota Freedom
map via Feministe

A very Merry Christmas, all!

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Guess What I've Been Wasting Time On Over Break

I'm sure some of you- whoever it is that still reads this while PR is in reruns- use Facebook. I'm also sure you've heard plenty of people complain about Facebook. Well, I started typing this up as a note on Facebook, until I realized how lame that was. So prepare yourself, I am going to complain about Facebook.

I'm not arguing Facebook's uses. Facebook is dreadfully convenient. I can imagine life without it (since life without it was not all that long ago), but inviting people to parties or sharing photos or asking everyone I know where I should go to get tattooed would be slightly more time-consuming without it. And I couldn't play Scrabble with my friends in Florida, New York and Virginia at the same time. I could play Scrabble with people near by, but then I need to buy a board and find a bunch of people nearby that care to play Scrabble- and gosh darn it, I'm poor and not that motivated. Facebook is really unfortunately useful.

Sure, social networking sites may change the way we socialize and how our brains function, but that's not my complaint today- that's one of those long term things that I'm sure will be sorted out after the revolution. Hmm, maybe I should make lists of things to be sorted out before, during and after the revolution... but I digress.

What I don't understand all these "lost cellphone" groups. There are a ton. I know facebook is dreadfully convenient, and if I lost my cellphone I'd certainly use facebook to contact people for their numbers- if they were people I had ever called in the past and/or if they were people I anticipated calling in the future. People tend to just make these groups and invite every person they have ever known since fifth grade to post their cellphone numbers. It's excessive, and gives a false sense of intimacy. Though, I think "giving a false sense of intimacy" is in Facebook's mission statement.

My bigger problem with these groups is that they tend to be "open", which not only means anyone can join it, but also that anyone can view it, completely undetected. I know Facebook has stalker potential written all over it regardless of how you use it, but these groups are just a goldmine of phone numbers. You don't even have to try to be sketchy. Visiting one of these groups makes me automatically feel dirty.

That's all the wit I have for this week. Happy holidays, I'll most likely see you in the New Year. Oh, and so this post isn't a total waste, I'll link to a campaign I found out about today to support the WG A strike (I am in solidarity with my fellow writers on this)- send a message to the moguls with pencils.

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Episode 5: Finals > Blogging

Hey all. Sorry I haven't blogged in a long time. The semester is ending and I'm struggling to get everything done. There won't be full Project Runway updates until my break starts and I have a little more time on my hands.

Let me make a few notes:

Tim Gunn Objectification continues. This week: sexualization of his advice. Sheesh, these people make it such a hard world for Tim Gunns to live in.

What is with the Ricky haters? Look at this poll on the PR livejournal community. At the time of this post, 81 people want to give Ricky the boot. And the person second to him is Elisa! I just don't get it. I know his last outfit was kind of gross, but everything else has been totally inoffensive to me, and heck, I thought he deserved to be in the top three this time.
But who is there instead? Jillian. Infuriating. It was boring, it was bad, and she used even less material from the original than Steven did. I really thought it was going to make the bottom.
But who is there instead? Elisa. The judges claimed that the outfit didn't fit her client. DEAR JUDGES: Would you shut your projectionist mouths for a second and bother to ask the client if she liked the outfit? She seemed to really enjoy herself in it, and it was really toned down for an Elisa piece while still retaining her point of view. The judges just baffle me.


I know, Ricky, I know! It's infuriating. Even the rays emanating from Sweet P's smile don't cheer you up.

To hell with the haters. I love Ricky.


You're so very, very special to me.

On Jack leaving: the circumstances are sad, but I won't miss him too terribly. Though, I suppose this means my Jack/Christian suspicions will never come to fruition, but I already knew that, considering he's dating Dale from Top Chef. That there's a happy ending, right?

On Chris returning: He called Tim Gunn a guardian angel in his note. It's just a better show with him on it. Good call, Bravo.

On Steven leaving: He just didn't pull it out this time. It was bound to happen sooner or later, I think. I'll certainly miss him a lot, but c'est la vie.

On Christian winning: Whatever. I'm hoping the judges will pull out the one-note comments on him soon enough.

In other news: my friend Melissa, whose artwork you may remember from this post, once again proved her overwhelming amazingness, and this time on TV. And it's totally Project Runway related- she walked the same runway as Heidi Klum!
She was one of thirty young women chosen to be stand-ins (or walk-ins, I guess?) for Victoria Secret models during rehearsals. You can see a video about it here, and I captured the best shot of her:


She's the one on the right. Isn't she angelic?
Go Melissa!

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Episode 3: Don't Go Home Too Soon- Oops!

Hey all. Sorry this is being posted basically the day before the new episode. Technology is failing me and time is sparse, I think the last entry being so thorough was a direct result of it being Thanksgiving break, and also, of the boy needing to take time out of cuddling to work on Nanowrimo- which he won, by the way! Yay!

Anyway, I have some things to say about this past episode, so I'll just jot them down as fast as I can.

On Carmen leaving: I think she's a perfectly capable designer, but not making the shirt before the jacket smacks of a lack of common sense. This is sooner than I thought she would go, but it's not big loss for me. I expected Ricky to be out around this time (a little awkward that they were in the bottom two after that little West Side Story style song and dance fight that was almost drama, eh?), but that would be tragic, because as it turns out, Ricky really is my favorite, just as I predicted. Personality-wise, anyway. I still don't know who's my favorite as far as design, considering this week was a whole lot of either disaster or boredom with not much in between, and last week was a team challenge, and, oh yeah, next week is a team challenge. Bah. Anyway, I love Ricky- he's so cute and sensitive, and also fierce and bitchy. "Fierce" in the biting-you way, not the, uh, way Christian intends it.
I really thought Christian was getting more tolerable until he pulled out that "Asians are fierce" crap- Christian. Think about what you're going to say. Then, think about it again. Then, think about it again. Then, if it's still a good idea and not racist, say it out loud. I know you're on a deadline and everything, and you were filmed in the past and can't heed this advice, but you're not doing yourself any favors by attempting to suck up to a race. However, I will tolerate his bragging a little more now that I've witnessed that he is, in fact, a fucking fast on a sewing machine.
On Jack winning: Bull. Shit. Kevin could have won, but, only if he had finished the jacket. It would have made the purple more subtle. Kit really came out on top of this one. She sewed all three pieces, she had an eye for what would work on camera, and she is an albino Pippi Longstocking.


But in seriousness: why was Jack even in the top three? I'm not a stickler for following the challenge to letter as long as it looks good, but Rami's or even Christian's looked better than this stripey-stripey non-suit. I think they picked Jack's because it wasn't too safe to be called boring (i.e. it was too ugly to be called safe), but it was also mind-numbingly safe (boring) from the waist up, which is what one actually sees of a news correspondent. Safe equals boring, "shows you have a perspective" equals ugly, mens wear challenge for a man in a career in which the outfits are nearly required by law to be safe and boring equals stupid, stupid, stupid idea. There will be a quiz.


Uh, do they not let the contestants buy their own food, or is this really sneaky product placement? Also, I read another blog stating that the P.M.A. (Positive Mental Attitude) message that appears on the chalkboard at the beginning of the episode is obviously from Elisa, but I think it's more likely Carmen, considering its similar catchphrasiness to "Don't Go Into the Fear Box". (If I'm right, I guess that's a bit sad, considering The Secret did not seem to work for her this time. Oh well. Follow your bliss, Carmen.) Also, I'd like to think that Elisa is above acronyms. It's more her style to leave toast around the kitchen with poems written out in condiments.

Speaking of that lovely lady, she gets more and more precious by the minute:


I love how they play mystic flute music behind her, as if shyness about undressing is part of her mystical river religion. And of course they paired her with an ethnobotanist- I refuse to believe that's a coincidence. Ethnobotany! Swoon.

I was going to do a chest count instead of a cry count for this episode, but I think the amount of skin on one page would just be blinding. Also, Kevin shirtless- another prediction was fulfilled!


Although I think Jack was the one they were aiming the camera at. Speaking of Jack's muscles, am I the only one sensing (or at least hoping for) some sexual tension between Jack and Christian? The piggie-back ride, the drawing of the cherries on the ass, the putting Christian into his man purse as if he were a tiny fashionable dog- that's flirting, right? My flirtation sensors aren't broked, right?

Steven, I love you. You're hilarious, coming further out of your shell every episode. But dear, this is not a pimp's hat.


This is a pimp's hat:


And Kevin needs to take it OFF.
By the way, Kevin, listen- we get it.


You're straight. It's fine by us. But, jeez-


Do you have to flaunt it?

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Stereotypelicious!

So, obviously advertisements are made to play on our insecurities and biases, but why do fast food commercials continue to be goddamn oppressive? You're selling food, for goodness' sakes, it's a basic human need, all you should need to do is make it look appetizing. Even "edible, cheap and not revolting" is a good marketing scheme. But, no- as I've discussed before on this blog, men are attacked if they don't act like men, and apparently eating meat is a masculine trait. Of course Burger King's "I am Man" commercial made that clear, and a new spot from Wendy's has made the point a little more subtly, by cutting up and pasting together male and female bodies so that they can have the series of events they want but without any pesky gender role variation.

The ad freaks me the fuck out. If you haven't seen it, go to their website and click the black and white cut-and-pasted head on the bottom right. They did not put regular male actors in this commercial, because, duh- being overexcited, fanatic and hysterical are totally femmey. Please, talk to some wrestling fans for ten seconds if you want to prove male fanaticism exists. You would also find a ton of female wrestling fans, and surprise! Women eat bacon, too! But you'd never know it from a fast food commercial. Women actors couldn't be cast in this commercial because, duh, meat is for men! So the obvious solution is to impose pictures of men on the bodies of women, so the womanly parts can act crazy and the manly parts can eat meat. What the fuck?

Another commercial currently on the air that bothers the fuck out of me with its subtle prejudice is KFC's heartwarming family's-favorite-moments commercial. After some searching I thankfully found that I wasn't the only one that has an issue with this one. It seems like a sweet moment over dinner at first, but after they panned around the tables a few times I realized it was a black family, enjoying a bucket of chicken, and they were fatherless. Oh, dear.

Anyway, if you're here it's probably due to Project Runway and not my analysis of advertising. Though I would love to draw an analyzing-advertising audience because, hell, it's just as entertaining as watching PR and feels way more productive. But, I'll end with my prediction for the next episode. From the previews it's pretty obviously a men's wear challenge, but that by itself is a little boring. Even if it wasn't, PR always needs a second twist (you're designing for SJP's line- with $15, ha ha ha!), so I'm hoping the real challenge is designing a look for Tim Gunn. Though it may be problematic were he walking around giving advice during the process, but think about it- Tim could finally be on the judge's panel! Also, Tim Gunn objectification ahoy!

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Episode 2: Cheer Up!

I think Rich at fourfour (probably the reason I started this blog, by the way) is totally missing out by not covering this season of Project Runway. I understand his reasons, but if the season continues like this, the cry count will rival ANTM’s.

1. Chris


He’s crying because Sarah Jessica Parker entered, and Sex and the City was the reason he moved to New York City. He’s precious. Not quite our little lamb, but perhaps our big teddy bear.

2. Ricky


He’s crying because in the last challenge, he, in his own words, sucked. How sadly self-defeating. However:

3. Ricky


Sarah Jessica Parker liked his design, so these tears are out of joy. I couldn't tell if he was also crying when his model from the last challenge got aufed, but I'll leave it as just verklempt.

4. Carmen


She got very upset because she had to say Christian should go home. She seemed surprised that they were asking- does she not watch the show, or was this just dramatics? When Steve was asked the same sort of question, he opted for mumbling instead of waterworks. His "I don’t like the idea of that, no", was so very Milton-esque. I, I believe you have my chiffon?

5. & 6. Sweet P and Marion


Heidi’s exact words: "Your look left us very sad". Maybe that’s why there’s so many tears in this episode- Marion’s depressing Xena Chic.

You know who I love? Elisa.


I love her. Whatever grass-staining yoga-practicing spit-marking happy planet she’s from, I want to visit (and by the looks of things, the other designers could use a vacation there, too). It's a shame Sweet P doesn’t know the name. Even though I find saliva really disgusting, when Elisa explained herself with this tone of, “Well, duh, to imbibe it with energy and essence, of course”, I got weak in the knees. She totally owns her crazy.

You know who I DON’T love? Carmen.


Leave the irritating self-promotion to the Bluefly Dot Com Wall, Carmen! Am I culture illiterate because I didn’t get her second reference? I would spend so much time trying to figure out who she was talking about that I would totally forget her design.

Something I found totally hilarious in the pitches to SJP- we totally would have guessed that Kevin was the straight man of this season without him telling us in the first episode. Because when others reacted something like this-


Kevin reacted like this.


Totally left her hanging. Tsk.

Tim Gunn Objectification Watch Alert: In this episode, an image of Tim Gunn was accompanied by...


an image of Tim Gunn. I understand promoting his show while he’s on the screen, but displaying him from two different angles? Demeaning.

It may be cliché, but these teams of two reminded me of high school cliques. The idea really started with this team:

Marion and Steven: Team Nerds


All they need is a pocket calculator and a 30 sided die. I think it’s fairly obvious what would belong to whom.


Christian and Carmen: Team Rich Scene Popular Kids


They’re elite, they’re full of themselves, and they’re really, really irritating.


Rami and Jillian: Team Valedictorian/Salutatorian


Which one is which, you ask? I imagine all valedictorians and salutatorians switch back and forth constantly, with a great deal of bitterness and scorn involved.


Victorya and Kevin: Team Cool Dark Drama Kids


They’re talented, they’re sexy, they appear often in 90s teen movies.


Kit and Chris: Team Other Drama Kids


They’re probably just as talented as the really serious dark drama kids, but they don’t quite have the same ambiance. Some may call them a little out there. But, of course, not as out there as:


Elisa and Sweet P: Team Stoners


Like, totally, you know, it’s all about, like, the materials, right? And like, energy, man. Sweet P kind of gets this one by association, but considering she’s been in a motorcycle gang, I don’t think it can be too far off the mark. Thank goodness Elisa got matched with Sweet P. Besides making a really nice product, I don’t think anyone else would have enough patience for her. Also, if there was indeed a challenge to design for Snow White, Sweet P would rock it.


Ricky and Jack: Team Jocks


This one was kind of a default thing. Check out those guns.


I really liked Ricky and Jack’s final product the most, but as Jack pointed out, it might be because Ricky’s model was gorgeous. I’m also confused as to what the second piece of this was, as it was supposed to be a two-piece challenge, unless it was the belt, and if so, did Ricky actually make it? Whatever, it was gorgeous, and could definitely be worn in an array of looks.






My own ranking and the judge’s coincided for the other top two spot- Elisa and Sweet P’s dress and cape. It’s beautiful and all, but I don’t know how many women would invest in a cape. Of course, if it’s featured on Project Runway, that point is pretty moot: people are going to buy it. Though I didn’t mind it on this piece, I am going to get sick of this shade of blue pretty soon. I know it’s not all exactly the same- Team Ego’s was a more fluorescent, for example, but this range of blues that hearken back to Chloe Dao are being done to death. I'm also wondering, do they teach this deer-in-headlights look in modeling school? I think Katie perfected it.

Victorya and Kevin’s dress, which actually won, didn’t do much for me, but I suspect it fit the line more than the other pieces. Rami/Jillian’s and Kit/Chris’s pieces were a little dull, except the strange choice of headwear in both cases.

My bottom two would be the same as the judge’s- Christian/Carmen’s dress was just not flattering at all. I pray that Elisa will go farther than Christian. Though he’s been pegged as a genius and she as a nutcase, she at least has the common sense to listen to Tim Gunn. If Tim calls your piece too retro and you tell him it’s perfect, I’m pretty sure it’s legal to burn you at the stake. Or at least tie you to a real giant spool of thread, or stuck in a giant pincushion or whatever.

Marion and Steven’s final product was indeed, as aforementioned, very sad. You know what I was happy about, though? Marion got to at least reference one comic book character before his departure.

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