Jesus Loves You, And Wants You to Get a Pap Smear

Apparently some bots have been impatient about my posting the pictures from the sex-ed conference- I apologize to anyone who might've witnessed the flooding of porn links. On to a more intelligent conversation about sex.



This is my third church-camp sex-ed conference, but my first time acting as a counselor at one. I was sneaky enough to guarantee a spot at this one- what can I say? Sex ed has been a hobby of mine for a while. I pride myself on knowing the ins and outs body, and there's always more to learn. A plug for one of my favorite sites: Scarleteen. Reader-friendly and oh-so-aesthetically pleasing.



The couple that runs the weekend are amazing, awesome, and several other positive adjectives. The wife is an Episcopal preist and the husband is a science teacher. They are, literally, a marriage of science and religion. How beautiful. They're the type of parents that disallow Barbies, repeating the "real women don't look like Barbie" mantra. (By the way, I had one of their kids in my cabin over the summer- she's the coolest nine year old I ever met.) They're the kind of awesome hippies that support free expression and Christian love over their own political agenda. Only one kid spoke up against gay marriage, and after the session they thanked him for speaking his mind.


That fuzzy fellow is a giant microbe of gonorrhea. The red book is The Vagina Monologues, which I borrowed and read with my campers. It was pretty beautiful.


Listen, these beads are AMAZING. My friends and I wished we could have an impromptu arts & craft project and make our own. You put a ring on the red bead on the first day of your period. The brown beads tell you what days you're less likely to get pregnant, and the white beads are when you're very likely to get pregnant. Sure, I'm already on birth control, but damn, additional birth control through jewelry- I want one.


Yes, this is a blown-up condom. There were several examples of how far small condoms can be stretched. The most memorable, of course, was when the male conference leader, with less effort than you'd imagine, slipped it on like a glove and pulled the thing all the way up his forearm. Soon after, this silliness happened. He's the best.

Among other things, we watched a documentary about breasts, which acted to demystify boobies for the boys and inspire the girls to feel comfortable and even empowered in their skin. We didn't get all the way through it, but it was more interesting than you'd probably imagine. We also watched the movie Saved to chill out after a long day of learning, including the most horrifying slideshow I've ever witnessed. It was an extensive collection of photos of the effects of STDs. The very first one was a green penis. They know how to start a show, eh? The most distressing had to be the one of a baby born from mothers with gonorrhea. We all twisted our heads, wondering where this bloody, dirty sore was, until it was explained to be an eye.

On that note, I'll plug that fantastic site again: Scarleteen. You should know all about it well before you do it.

Sadly, this was the last sex-ed conference I can attend, unless I'm a chaperone or even a leader many moons from now. It was great to be the older-wiser type this time around. Just about everyone fell upon a certain plastic whatsit while overlooking the table of goodies, and time and time again, I explained that it was the tool used during a pap smear. I displayed how it functioned, talked about my own expiriences and assured them the slight discomfort was ignorable, and definitely worth enduring considering the importance of the tests. I was so, so happy about to impart my limited knowledge to those young'uns. I truly care about those girls.
Ah, also, my darling friend Emma and I created this beautiful question box.

It's being saved for the next sex-ed conference, so I'll always be a small part of the tradition.

I'm so proud.


Finally, I thought I'd get photographic evidence that this all went down at religious establishment. So, here you have it, Jesus Christ overlooking our sex education.


One last time now, check it out, Scarleteen.